31 Thanksgiving Jokes for Work
Office-safe Thanksgiving jokes for the potluck, the team chat and the meeting.
The office potluck, the half day before the holiday and the team chat. These Thanksgiving jokes are safe for every coworker.
Family at the table (18)
Kids’ tables, cousins and relatives everyone at work will recognize.
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I asked Mom how many people were coming for Thanksgiving. She said, “Just family.”
So, thirty-four people and a guy named Gary.
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We went around the table saying what we’re thankful for.
Grandpa said, “Elastic waistbands,” and nobody could top it.
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Our family has one rule at Thanksgiving dinner: absolutely no politics.
So we spent four hours fighting about stuffing versus dressing.
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My brother-in-law has signed up to bring the ice to Thanksgiving for fourteen years straight.
His signature dish is frozen water.
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I’m forty-two and still sitting at the kids’ table.
At this point it’s not a seating chart. It’s a verdict.
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My family watches football all Thanksgiving. Nobody can name a single player.
We just need something to yell at that isn’t each other.
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Thanksgiving is a day to gather with the people we love.
And also our relatives.
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My mom will forgive you for skipping Thanksgiving.
She will never forgive you for keeping her Tupperware.
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This year we made everyone put their phones in a basket during Thanksgiving dinner.
Grandma’s buzzed the most.
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Uncle Ray said grace before Thanksgiving dinner for eleven straight minutes.
By “amen,” the gravy had grown a skin.
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Uncle Rick talked about his strict new diet all through Thanksgiving dinner.
Then went back for a third plate “for the protein.”
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My cousin brought his new girlfriend to Thanksgiving.
By dessert, Grandma had asked about grandkids. It was their second date.
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I’m thankful for my family.
Especially since they all live at least four hours away.
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My brother and I always fight over the wishbone. This year I finally won.
I wished for a different brother.
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My cousin cornered me at Thanksgiving to explain his new investing strategy.
As far as I can tell, the strategy is “hope.”
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Every Thanksgiving, my aunt asks why I’m still single.
This year I asked why she’s still making that Jell-O salad.
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My uncle yells coaching advice at the TV every Thanksgiving.
Thirty years. No team has taken it. Neither has his family.
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Our contractor promised the kitchen remodel would take six weeks.
That was three years ago. Now he comes to Thanksgiving.
Hosting, cooking and the feast (13)
Frozen turkeys, store-bought stuffing and one more sliver of pie.
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I’m not overeating at Thanksgiving.
I’m carb-loading for the nap.
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I told everyone I’d just have a sliver of each pie.
Turns out eight slivers is a whole pie with extra steps.
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I bought a 26-pound turkey for Thanksgiving.
Turns out I own a 20-pound oven.
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The secret to my famous Thanksgiving stuffing?
Buying it. And lying.
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Dad carves the turkey every year with the confidence of a surgeon.
A surgeon who watched one video that morning.
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I forgot to thaw the turkey this year.
We had a lovely Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday.
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I asked Grandma for a small slice of pie.
She took that personally and cut me a quarter.
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I volunteered to host Thanksgiving this year.
My therapist moved me to twice a week.
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My uncle wants to deep-fry the turkey again this year.
The fire department sends us a Christmas card now.
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Grandpa always calls the turkey “the guest of honor.”
Odd thing to say while sharpening a carving knife.
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Every year my sister brings a “healthy” side dish to Thanksgiving.
Every year it goes home exactly as full as it arrived.
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Our dog absolutely loves Thanksgiving.
He’s the only one who asks for seconds of Aunt Carol’s casserole.
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My wife has us cleaning for Thanksgiving like the family’s coming to buy the house.
I just vacuumed the inside of the dryer.