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JokeBay: funny jokes for grown-ups

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Quick laughs

  1. Getting Older

    I asked my doctor if I’ll live to 90. He asked if I smoke, drink, or eat steak. I said no.

    He said, “Then why on earth would you want to?”

  2. Work

    My boss said, “You’ve been late three times this week. Do you know what that means?”

    “That it’s Wednesday?”

  3. Marriage

    For our anniversary, I asked my wife what she wanted. She said, “Surprise me.”

    So this year, I remembered it.

  4. Coffee

    My wife and I agreed: whoever wakes up first makes the coffee.

    I’ve been “asleep” until 9 a.m. for six straight years.

  5. Getting Older

    Two weeks ago, my doctor told me to walk five miles a day.

    I’m in Ohio now. Can somebody come get me?

  6. Work

    My boss caught me napping at my desk.

    I slowly lifted my head and said, “…in Jesus’ name, amen.”

  7. Marriage

    I haven’t said a single word to my wife in eighteen months.

    I don’t like to interrupt her.

  8. Coffee

    My doctor asked how many cups of coffee I drink a day.

    I said, “Cups?” and held up the pot.

Jokes worth saving

Getting Older The one perk of getting older At my age, “getting lucky” means… Read the punchline Work How to ask for a raise I told my boss I need a raise. Three companies are after me. Read the punchline Marriage The secret to a happy marriage My wife and I have a system. She makes all the decisions… Read the punchline Coffee A quick word about my coffee habit People keep telling me I have a coffee problem. Read the punchline