32 Birthday Jokes for Coworkers
Funny birthday jokes for a coworker’s card or the office cake.
For the birthday card that goes around the office and the cake in the break room. These are funny, friendly and safe for any coworker.
Office birthday rituals (8)
Passing the card, singing off-key and the break-room cake.
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Someone at work passed around a birthday card for Steve.
I wrote “Happy birthday, buddy!” and then went to find out who Steve is.
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Every office in America sings “Happy Birthday” the exact same way.
Like hostages reading a prepared statement.
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Our office has a birthday cake in the break room almost every week.
Nobody likes each other. We just really like cake.
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Birthday cards cost nine dollars now.
So after you read yours, I’ll need it back for Jim.
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My coworkers filled my office with black “Over the Hill” balloons.
My boss thought someone died and gave me the day off.
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I asked the store clerk for a birthday card that didn’t make fun of getting old.
She handed me a blank one.
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At my new job, it’s tradition that the birthday person brings in their own cake.
That’s not a celebration. That’s a fine.
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My coworker Doug reminded the whole office about his birthday every day for two weeks.
We got him a card. It just says, “We know.”
Cake, candles and celebrating (12)
Lighthearted jokes for the card or the party.
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My friends lit all 60 candles on my birthday cake at once.
Two neighbors called the fire department. One brought marshmallows.
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I asked the waiter not to sing to me on my birthday.
So the whole staff brought out the cake and just stared at me silently.
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My friends asked what I wanted to do for my 45th birthday. I said, “Take a nap.”
Every single one of them asked if they could come.
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This year I put number candles on my cake: a 6 and a 0.
My nephew put them in backwards. Best gift I got.
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I lie about my birthday at restaurants to get the free dessert.
Last month I turned 52 four times.
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I ordered a birthday cake that said, “You’re not getting older, you’re getting better.”
The bakery called to ask if they could fact-check it.
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My cake at 30 said “Party Animal.” At 50 it said “Happy Birthday.”
At 60 it just said “Low Sodium.”
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My wife insisted on putting all 50 candles on my birthday cake.
By the time she lit the last one, I was 51.
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My sister sent me one of those birthday cards that plays music when you open it.
That was in March. It’s still playing. It lives in the freezer now.
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My brother gave me a gift card for my birthday.
It still had $3.12 left on it. From his birthday.
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My friends threw me a surprise 60th and hid in my dark living room for an hour.
I came home, skipped the lights, and went straight to bed. They let themselves out.
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My friends threw me a surprise party for my 60th birthday.
When they all jumped out yelling “Surprise!”, three of them pulled something.
Age is just a number (12)
Friendly jokes about fibbing, fudging and counting the years.
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I don’t lie about my age to seem younger.
I add ten years so everyone says I look amazing.
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I’ve lied about my age for so long, I honestly forgot the real number. So I called my mom.
She lied too.
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My aunt has been 39 for so long…
Her 39th birthday just held its own 10-year reunion.
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I tell everyone I’m 45.
Worked great right up until my son’s 40th birthday party.
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People keep telling me age is just a number.
So is my cholesterol, and my doctor is not relaxed about it.
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I finally turned 40, and now I understand my dad.
I, too, have very strong feelings about the thermostat.
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Nobody remembered my 50th birthday. Not my kids, not my friends, not even my mom.
AARP remembered. Three weeks early.
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I bought wine on my 40th birthday, secretly hoping to get carded.
The cashier asked if I needed help out to my car.
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Every birthday, my mom calls to tell me how many hours she was in labor with me.
The number goes up every year. She’s up to 41.
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On my 21st birthday, the neighbors called the cops about the noise.
On my 50th, they called for a wellness check.
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For my 50th birthday, I bought myself a little red convertible.
My chiropractor sent me a thank-you card.
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When I turned 40, my doctor started every sentence with, “At your age…”
When I turned 60, he started saying it to my wife.