18 Funny Mom Jokes for Adults
Mom jokes for moms: the mom purse, the mom voice and the coffee that’s been reheated four times.
Moms run the household, the group chat and the lost-and-found, usually before 8 a.m. These mom jokes are written for moms, about moms, so send them to the one who taught you to say “because I said so.”
Exhausted mom jokes (11)
For the mom who hides in the bathroom and still gets a snack request.
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Someone asked when I last ate a hot meal sitting down.
In the hospital, right after giving birth. They brought a tray. I wept.
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I put the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge again.
I keep blaming mom brain. My youngest is 26.
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The class parents’ group chat has 143 new messages.
One is the answer. The other 142 say “Thank you!!”
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I drive so many carpools that my GPS stopped giving me directions.
Now it just sighs and says, “You know the way, hon.”
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I made eye contact with someone at one PTA meeting.
Now I’m running the fall festival.
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My husband says he looked everywhere for the mustard.
To him, “everywhere” means one shelf, at eye level, for four seconds.
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I spent $280 at the grocery store this morning.
By noon, someone stared into the open fridge and announced there’s nothing to eat.
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I’m the family’s chef, chauffeur, nurse, referee and personal assistant.
My benefits package is one macaroni necklace.
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TSA pulled my purse aside for a closer look.
They found a granola bar, three crayons and the TV remote we lost in March.
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My husband and I finally had a real date night.
We fell asleep in the restaurant parking lot. Best date in years.
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I locked myself in the bathroom for five minutes of peace and quiet.
Somebody slid a snack request under the door.
Mom voice and parenting jokes (7)
Counting to three, the full-name warning and texts that end with a period.
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My son asked if we could get a dog. I told him, “Ask your father.”
Ten minutes later, my husband asked me if we could get a dog.
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I’ve been counting to three since 2014.
Nobody knows what happens at three. Including me.
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My teenager only really talks to me in the car, when I’m driving and can’t look at him.
So now I take the long way. Sometimes through two states.
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I used my mom voice in the cereal aisle at Kroger.
Two strangers’ kids froze, and a grown man put his cart back.
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My adult son called me just to chat.
I asked who died.
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I used my son’s first, middle and last name exactly once.
The dog went and hid under the bed.
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My daughter says my texts sound angry because I end every one with a period.
Noted.