30 Birthday Jokes for Adults
Birthday jokes for adults turning 40, 50, 60 and beyond, plus a few for the card.
Another year older, another cake with too many candles. These birthday jokes are made for grown-ups: write one in a card, read one at the party or just use them to feel better about the number.
More specific lists
Office birthday and card jokes (6)
Break room cake, nine-dollar cards and singing like hostages reading a statement.
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I asked the waiter not to sing to me on my birthday.
So the whole staff brought out the cake and just stared at me silently.
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Someone at work passed around a birthday card for Steve.
I wrote “Happy birthday, buddy!” and then went to find out who Steve is.
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Our office has a birthday cake in the break room almost every week.
Nobody likes each other. We just really like cake.
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Every office in America sings “Happy Birthday” the exact same way.
Like hostages reading a prepared statement.
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Birthday cards cost nine dollars now.
So after you read yours, I’ll need it back for Jim.
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My coworkers filled my office with black “Over the Hill” balloons.
My boss thought someone died and gave me the day off.
Jokes about turning 40, 50 and 60 (12)
Low-sodium cakes, too many candles and the AARP letter that never forgets.
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I asked the store clerk for a birthday card that didn’t make fun of getting old.
She handed me a blank one.
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People keep telling me age is just a number.
So is my cholesterol, and my doctor is not relaxed about it.
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My friends asked what I wanted to do for my 45th birthday. I said, “Take a nap.”
Every single one of them asked if they could come.
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My cake at 30 said “Party Animal.” At 50 it said “Happy Birthday.”
At 60 it just said “Low Sodium.”
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My friends lit all 60 candles on my birthday cake at once.
Two neighbors called the fire department. One brought marshmallows.
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I asked for no gag gifts for my 50th birthday.
So they got me a walker with racing stripes.
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I finally turned 40, and now I understand my dad.
I, too, have very strong feelings about the thermostat.
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I bought wine on my 40th birthday, secretly hoping to get carded.
The cashier asked if I needed help out to my car.
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Nobody remembered my 50th birthday. Not my kids, not my friends, not even my mom.
AARP remembered. Three weeks early.
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My wife asked if I wanted a big party for my 50th. I asked who’d even come.
She said, “That’s why I’m asking.”
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This year I put number candles on my cake: a 6 and a 0.
My nephew put them in backwards. Best gift I got.
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I ordered a birthday cake that said, “You’re not getting older, you’re getting better.”
The bakery called to ask if they could fact-check it.
Lying about your age jokes (5)
For the aunt who’s been 39 long enough to hold a reunion.
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I don’t lie about my age to seem younger.
I add ten years so everyone says I look amazing.
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My aunt has been 39 for so long…
Her 39th birthday just held its own 10-year reunion.
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I tell everyone I’m 45.
Worked great right up until my son’s 40th birthday party.
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I’ve lied about my age for so long, I honestly forgot the real number. So I called my mom.
She lied too.
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I lie about my birthday at restaurants to get the free dessert.
Last month I turned 52 four times.
Birthday jokes about husbands, wives and family (7)
Forgotten birthdays, recycled cards and a mom whose labor story keeps getting longer.
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I asked my husband to guess my age on my birthday.
He guessed correctly. He’s on the couch until he learns to guess wrong.
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Last year I gave my husband a birthday card that made him laugh until he cried.
This year I gave him the same card. Same reaction.
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The best way to remember your wife’s birthday
is to forget it exactly once.
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Every birthday, my mom calls to tell me how many hours she was in labor with me.
The number goes up every year. She’s up to 41.
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My wife told me not to get her anything for her birthday, so I didn’t.
Turns out that was a test. The makeup exam involves jewelry.
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This year I got birthday wishes from my bank, my dentist, my car dealership and a pizza chain.
My husband found out from the pizza chain.
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My dad insists he doesn’t want anything for his birthday. So this year, we got him nothing.
He’s told forty people and a waitress.