23 Funny Work Jokes

Office jokes for anyone who has survived a Monday meeting, a reply-all or a boss.

Whether you work in an office, from the kitchen table or somewhere in between, there’s always a boss, a meeting that could have been an email and a coworker who microwaves fish. These work jokes are safe to share in the group chat. Probably.

I told my boss I need a raise. Three companies are after me.

Electric, gas and phone.
My boss said, “You’ve been late three times this week. Do you know what that means?”

“That it’s Wednesday?”
My boss caught me napping at my desk.

I slowly lifted my head and said, “…in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Someone kept stealing my lunch from the office fridge, so I labeled today’s bag “Spinach Salad.”

It’s a cheeseburger. Nobody’s touched it.
My boss told me to open every presentation with a joke.

So I started with my salary.
My boss looked at me and said, “Have a good day.”

So I went home.
Interviewer: “Describe yourself in three words.”

Me: “Lazy.”
The job ad said, “Must thrive in a fast-paced environment.”

Translation: the last three people quit, and you’re replacing all of them.
My boss is a lot like a cloud.

When he disappears, it’s a beautiful day.
On my first day, my boss said, “We’re like a family here.”

Great. So when do I start getting an allowance?
They say you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

Now I’m in HR explaining why I came in dressed as Batman.
I called IT because my computer was dead. They asked, “Is it plugged in?”

I said, “Of course,” and then quietly plugged it in.
Interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

“Celebrating the fifth anniversary of you asking me that question.”
My performance review says I “meet expectations.”

Which is impressive, considering how low they were.
Our CEO says employees are the company’s greatest asset.

Which explains why they keep trying to liquidate us.
Nothing ruins a Friday at work faster

than realizing it’s Tuesday.
My boss reminded me, “There’s no ‘I’ in team.”

I pointed out there’s a “me” if you rearrange it.
In office email, “Per my last email” means

“As I already said, you absolute walnut.”
My company offers unlimited vacation days.

So far, the record is zero.
My boss finally figured out Zoom filters.

We’ve now had three budget meetings with a talking potato.
The meeting was scheduled for 15 minutes.

We’re in hour two, and someone just said, “Quick question.”
I told my boss, “I’m giving my two weeks’ notice.”

He said, “Wait… you work here?”
HR wants to know who threw out everything in the office fridge.

Apparently one of those containers had seniority.

Try another flavor